CARLOS THE ACTOR

                When I was bartending at the Irish Lunatic I met a lot of interesting people. Most of them were interesting because of their strange reactions to alcohol or combinations of alcohol & other drugs or possibly their creative attempts at fake I.D.’s.

                I stood behind the bar trying to convince myself that I was some sort of researcher in a grand sociological experiment involving alcohol, drugs, and ridiculously underage idiots playing with substances that they’d never be able to handle.  What I really was, was a starving writer and young father that was trying to make ends meet.  And I had to put up with an endless array of aspiring alcoholics and addicts that hadn’t a fucking single intelligent thing to say.

                (Now I am still a father first and foremost. The youngest of our seven child brood Lila 1½ years just decided to remove her diaper and take a light feces bath in her crib. I have to stop writing for a few to go clean up the mess because my wife is out shopping. )

                Carlos walked into the Lunatic one night and sidled up to the bar. He was about 25 years old and a Chris Cornell lookalike. I was in a sour mood and he definitely recognized this.

                “Hey man, don’t worry. This shit is just a stepping stone.” Carlos said, smiling.

                We went on to discuss writers, poets, philosophy, filmmakers, music. Carlos was an actor by trade and he was actually making a living off of it. Bit parts, commercials, off Broadway. He was one of the first people I had ever met artistic or otherwise that smelled of success. Not the megastar version of it that so many delude themselves into thinking they want, but the self satisfied freedom that comes from a person that isn’t concerned about the level of success, just that they have the freedom to make a living doing what they want.  

                Yes, Carlos the Actor was my first introduction to the idea of true artistic freedom. And he was a damn good conversationalist to boot.

                Carlos appeared suddenly and disappeared just as suddenly a few months later. I was sorry to see him go because he left me with the drunken, drug addicted vapid musings of a generation of the most idiotic kids I had ever served. I mean really. What a bunch of fucking dumbasses! But Carlos left me something extremely valuable. He left me with the unmistakable conviction that it is possible to create, and live off of it, and be happy. Most of all he taught me that there are many different levels of success. Thanks Carlos. Wherever you are!